I began eating plant-based on the same day that I formally became a mom. A lot of my passion and perspective is wrapped up in how I’ve come to learn about plant-based eating as a mother. Family is an important reason why I’ve stayed plant-based all of these years. For my family and other families - including the animals’.

Admittedly, I hesitate to write this post, even though it is beyond arguably the most critical reason to eat plant-based. It’s certainly not my goal to make anyone feel badly about eating animals. I understand how deeply engrained it is in most of us and viewed as a very personal choice. I ate meat, chicken, fish, cheese, and/or eggs for most of my life. I never thought that I would become vegan. But I’ve had a learning opportunity that made me realize how deeply I must have felt about eating animals to ignore, or be conditioned to not care, that basically an animal a day died so that I could live.

I often feel how people tend to tune out or put up a bit of a protective barrier when the word vegan or plant-based comes up. They don’t want to be evangelized to or judged. It’s common for their thoughts to immediately go to a red flag warning for how extreme veganism is, how animal rights don’t apply to the food chain, or how sappy it is to care about the animals (pre-plant-based me has been there). I used to work in a career in popular music that everyone loved talking about. And now, as I have moved into a career focused on plant-centered nutrition, I can very readily feel in contrast the angst people often get when our vegan life or my career path comes up for fear my “extreme views” on animals may also come up, even though my rallying call is really about human health. Mostly, there’s just a mutual retreat from even talking about it. I don’t want to loose anyone here, because this topic is too important and I appreciate the opportunity to share it. So please, if you’re an omnivore, stay with me. Because, I get where you’re coming from. But this has been my unexpected experience.

Living in America, it’s likely you have been eating animals or their byproducts since you were one year old. And then there’s this weird food chain that we were introduced to in school that reinforces this, where we have somehow been stuck in at the top, even though we don’t have the teeth or constitutions of carnivores. I wholeheartedly believe, if each of us truly understood how dramatically better for us it can be to eat only plants - despite culture, tradition (“what we’ve always done”), any of it - most of us would stick to plants. That is why most of my site is dedicated to nutrition. Because whether you care about health, the environment, the animals, or are even just a bit plant-curious - whatever may be pulling you to learn more about plant-based eating, the only way it works is if we truly understand how much healthier it is for us.

And it is. So. Much. Healthier.

I think to some extent pre-plant-based me knew that. The information was always confusing though - I thought I HAD to eat animal protein to exist. But at the same time I also knew that there was this mysterious sweet spot where too much was also known to be bad. It’s necessary, but don’t go overboard. We’re told moderation is the key. The notion of moderation is actually super confusing because there’s no agreed upon clarity for where the line is. “Everyone’s different,” we’re told.

I don’t know about you, but I also could never bring myself to really think about how the animals got to my plate. I was on a “the less I know the better” basis with eating animals. My eyes didn’t truly open to the animal’s experience until the day my first child was born. And then the light really clicked when I experienced how awesome and healthful plant-based eating can be.

How We See Family

The day my son was born was the first day we decided to experiment with going vegan for health. We made that decision in the morning and, oddly, later that day, once he arrived, I immediately committed to go vegetarian anyway for the long-haul. Some of my first thoughts when he was born was of how primal the experience was of going through childbirth. How a part of nature I felt, even within the walls of the hospital. It was a different sense of life and the earth than I’d ever experienced. The world suddenly felt different. I had a new sense of the vulnerability of life and the power of birth and I instantly had this connection with this little soul that had mysteriously been growing and kicking inside of me - it was like nothing I can explain. I knew then there was no way I could eat meat again. There was no way the transformation and level of connection I felt was unique to being human. It’s too intense. There’s no way. You can’t grow a baby of any species for that many months - human, cow, sheep, dog, cat, lion, mouse, ape, any animal - and go through the wildness of birth and, in most circumstances, not feel totally and completely attached and head over heals in love. There are even biological processes that promote this kind of attachment.

Animals have to be just as bonded and transformed by birth. To take away their littles ones - and their little one’s life force, their milk - is absolutely gut wrenching to me now. And millions of animals are systematically loosing their young, their family, every day to the meat and dairy industries, paid to kill animals to feed millions of humans a day. Animals too have a mother.

My beloved cat of 12 years died this summer. It took the wind out of me. I still miss him. He was an important friend and part of my life and my family. It got me thinking about how we’re constantly defining family for ourselves and one another. Companion cats and dogs, family. We give birth to our family or adopt new loved ones. We ask others to help us build our families when we aren’t able to ourselves. We “adopt” friends as family as we build our tribes along the way. Blood or not, we have many wonderful, beautiful definitions of family. And then there’s the less beautiful side. The fact we try to define family for others in our society is mind-blowing to me. We are possessive of our families and what that looks like to us but we think we also have a right to tell others whether or not their family fits into our context of family. And furthermore, to feed our own daily living and growth, we’ve also decided for the billions of farmed animals that die each year that they aren’t a part of a family. They are born at our whim and exist briefly until it’s time for our plates. In America, we can choose our families. We choose animals to be a part of our families all the time. But animal families that are not commonly family pets, or are too wild, somehow don’t count.

This sense of compassion that we raise our kids with leaves out farmed animals - land or sea - except to celebrate them by nursery rhyme, in books, or on display. We wouldn’t likely expose them to how animals really live and die to get to the supermarket. None of these animals want to die. Can you imagine what their short lives must be like? I had tried not to think about it before. Because we can’t identify with their feelings or their fear or their sense of family, we’ve made a decision that their lives don’t count.

I did not go vegan for the animals. But, after becoming a mom, and once I had some space from eating them every day, this all began to rise for me. I remember reading in my studies the notion that the amount of stress an animal is under when it dies effects the quality of the meat. So the less stressed they are when they die, the better it tastes… Their stress is a problem for our taste buds. Not because they are living, feeling beings. It’s so ingrained in us, since birth, and in our health care system, that we need animals to survive. We condition each other to feel like we’re at the top of the food chain and animals deaths are just a part of the natural cycle - and anyone who isn’t eating animals is viewed as somewhat (or a lot) extreme. I no longer see it that way. And I am so incredibly grateful for that.

Stepping Out of Your Comfort Zone

Three resources that you might explore that can help you take a step to think about animal agriculture differently are Dr. Melanie Joy and her concept of Carnism, Mercy for Animals, and the Farm Sanctuary. I’ll give you light background on each here, but I urge you to step out of your comfort zone and dig into each of these sites. Growth isn’t always comfortable. Please be open, and see what you think.

• Carnism by Melanie Joy: Dr. Joy’s concept of Carnism "is the invisible belief system, or ideology, that conditions people to eat certain animals.” The concept explores how we are conditioned to see eating animals not as a choice, but something we have to do. Eating plant-based, there is nothing that I eat that a classic omnivore couldn’t eat (except for allergies or food preferences). Everything on my plate could be or is technically on your plate too. But there are foods omnivores eat that I don’t eat. Eating plant-based used to seem like the choice - and the way we are set up in our society it is a big decision when we make it. But as you can see, we eat all the same foods. Perhaps choosing to eat animals is the choice, and perhaps it deserves more thought, even if you’ve been doing it for 20+, 30+, 50+ years. Check out this video that describes Dr. Joy’s theory of Carnism. You can also go to the Carnism website to access a similar presentation that Dr. Joy gives via Ted Talk, as well as find her books Why We Love Dogs, Eat Pigs, and Wear Cows and Beyond Beliefs.

• Mercy for Animals: Mercy for Animals exposes abuses in animal agriculture and advocates for animals, helping the world to see the value of farmed animals lives differently. Their website is loaded with information + resources. And spoiler alert: animals raised in factory farms, are not treated well. They don’t live out happy lives and then appear on our plates. If you’re open to it, I hope you’ll explore their work and perspective on the lives of animals.

• Farm Sanctuary: Farm Sanctuary is a special place. They rescue animals from short, painful lives and offer them long serene lives on their sanctuaries. One of their sanctuaries is a little over two hours from Santa Barbara, down south, in the town of Acton. We road tripped there once and it was such a sweet experience. I can’t wait to go back. The pictures throughout this post are from our trip to Farm Sanctuary. They educate their guests on the lives of farmed animals and introduce you to their friends who call Farm Sanctuary home. It’s peaceful and lovely, and hard to imagine that billions of other animals haven’t been able to have this same lovely serene life where they are loved by humans, rather than raised for consumption in often truly terrible conditions. Their website is also a wealth of resources and you can learn more about their family of animals.

It’s Ok to Not Eat Animals

It’s ok to not eat animals. Sometimes I think, that simply, it needs to be said. It’s ok to care about how the animals feel. It doesn’t make you weak and eating plants won’t make you weaker.

Plants don’t have a living, breathing, feeling, loving mom. Plants are full of fiber, vitamins, minerals, antioxidants, carbohydrates, (and yes) protein, and healthy, wonderful fats. They are the best foods to sustain us day to day and in terms of long-term health.

I hope you’ll take some time to learn more about plant-based eating. I’m not writing this to make anyone feel bad about eating animals. I get it, I used to too. But I’ve had some space from it and I can’t help but think others might feel the same if they took some time and space from eating animals too. I share some wonderful resources that have helped me under THE BASICS, if you’re interested to get a picture of plant-based eating at it’s best. It can be simple. It can take some getting used to. But not long. And it’s so worth it.

This has been my experience. I stopped eating animals for health and now I also focus my plate on plants for all the animal mothers who deserve to hold tight to their little ones. Plants don’t have a mom, but animals do.